Thank You

I want to thank my classmates and Prof. G. for making this semester outstanding.  This class has taught more than any other class I ever taken.  I have learned so much about social justice issues; However I have learned a great deal more about my self.  I will always treasure the time we spent in this particular class, as it has forever changed my outlook on life.  I am so grateful to have classmates who are deeply passionate and genuinely care.  Prof. Gerstenblatt has stretched my way of thinking and my way of acting within the my community and world.  Thank you Prof. G. for being an inspiration and for your constant encouragement to push my self just a little bit farther.  The lesson I have learned from you are invaluable.  Thanks again to each every one of you for this wonderful semester.

Group Presentations

The presentations presented this week were all very good.  I was impressed with each individual’s input.  Project H was very moving.  I could tell the girls actually cared and put their whole heart into the project.  I am glad this group plans to obtain donations for homeless outreaches.  I did some of my volunteer hours at the Arch, so this project touched my heart.  Like many of the young ladies in this group, when I first started volunteering with the Arch I was terrified of the homeless people.  I was fearful of being robbed.  I discovered the people at the Arch were not that different from me. I learned to really enjoy working with the homeless population.  After Work Activism did an excellent job explaining what they desire to do and how they plan to pursue social justice issues with the group in the future.  I had received several emails about AWA, but I did not really understand what is about, until the group explained the vision of AWA.  I honestly don’t have the time to be involved, but I appreciated their endeavor.  The executive orders were very surprising.  It is difficult to believe the governor has so much control and the people have no way of really making executive orders illegal.  This group was also impressive in its ability to overcome so many obstacles in doing the project.  While they may not have been able to present the “intended goal”, this group was very informative.   I also enjoyed the group about the education gap.  It is shocking how much difference location and social class make on the ability to achieve educational goals.  In all honesty, I learned more about the education gap from this group’s project than I did from a supposed professional on the issue.  Overall everyone did an excellent job. 

Social Justice

As I read the last few chapters in Adam’s social justice book, I noticed several chapters mentioned the need to unite, heal, and respect.  What exactly does unite, heal, and respect mean? The last few chapters helped me realize: All human beings must unite in respect for one another in order to heal from past social injustice issues and strive to become more socially just.

Unite: (transitive verb)   1. To put together to form a single unit

                                             2. To cause to adhere

                                             3. To link by a legal or moral bond

        (Intransitive verb)     1. To possess in combination

                                             2. To become one or as if one

                                             3. To become combined by or as if by adhesion or mixture

                                             4. To act in concert

Heal:                  1. To make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from aliment

                              2. To bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with                                     strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile

                              3. To free from evil; cleanse; purify

Respect:            Denotes a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity, and also                                      specific                actions and conduct representative of that esteem

Adultism

Oddly enough, I still experience forms of adultism as at the age of thirty-one.  People assume that because I am not married and do not have children, I don’t have adult responsibilities.  Of course, I have responsibilities as do twenty-something’s, teenagers, and children.  Granted my respoabilities may not be quite the same as a wife and mother.  I am personally responsible for my households grocery shopping, errand running, paying bills, and keeping both my mother and brother on a budget.   I am not a wife; however I am a sister and daughter who are highly depended upon to take care of household business.  My brother considers me his personal secretary; I literally take care of all of his personal business.  My mom does help with budgeting issues, but for the most part it’s my job.  I clean and do the laundry for the three of us.  The only thing I am not responsible for at home, is cooking dinner, which I do cook dinner at least once a week.  So why do people with children and spouses or domestic partners think, I have less responsibility and thus more time to do homework and other activities?  By the way, I do understand children are time consuming, but that is part of the reason I have chosen not to have children yet.  Just because some of my classmate, made the discision to have children, does not mean I should be treated less “adult” because I made a different choice.

It is not just classmates, who treat me younger because of my lack of children.  My grandmother even treats me younger than my married cousins with children.  They are eleven years younger than me, but my grandmother tends to think of them as being older than me, based on the fact I am not married and do not have children.

I have probably been guilty of treating classmates and my younger cousins with adultism views.  Like our book states, our society perpetuates the idea that teenagers and young adults are stupid and less than older adults. It is perfectly natural and accepted to compare responsibilities without consider what choices were made that caused those responsibilities.  When you make the choice to become a partner and parent, you make the choice to take on the extra responsibilities that come with it.

Lost in My Own Pain

This has been a very difficult week for me.  The subject matters in all my classes have been very heavy.  I have been in contact with my father, for the first time in over a year.  If you haven’t put the pieces together, my father was extremely abusive to me, my brother, and my mother in every way possible.

While talking to him on the phone last night for two hours, for first time in years I saw him as a person who is deeply hurting.  It is easy to look at him as a monster and allow my anger and hurt to block all human qualities from him.  However as he talked about being alone in the hospital, scared of dying and realizing he had no family, I felt his deep pain and could view as a human being.

What am I suppose to with that?  Do I allow him into parts of my life?  Do I completely forgive his past and choose to move forward from today?  I have a million questions running through my head and a million horrific memories that still scream out with excruciating pain.  I feel lost and confused! 

Homophobia

Homophobia is a subject close to my heart and it makes me extremely angry and frustrated.  If you have read my other blogs, you already know my brother, Jason is gay.  What you don’t know if how much homophobia has affected his personal choices.  Jason was married to a beautiful woman, Angela in his early twenties.  Jason knew he was gay; however a few of our pastors and leaders at our church convinced him if he would get married and live a heterosexual lifestyle he would be freed from the demonic spirit that caused him to desire sexual relations with men.  I personally think these individuals are complete morons!  Jason desperately wanted to be a minister and a “Godly” man.  So against my pleading and hours of conversation, Jason proposed to his best friend Angela.  Angela knew Jason struggled with homosexual desires; however she too believed Jason’s sexuality would change once they were married.  Obviously being gay is not a choice, so getting married did not suddenly make Jason straight.  Jason and Angela filed for divorce after two years of marriage.   Angela remains single because she is afraid to get involved in another relationship.  Jason still struggles with the loss of his best friend, Angela and how much pain he caused her

.

My point is homophobia within our church caused Jason to make a terrible choice.  Homophobia in essence devastated Angela.   I also lost Angela as a friend.  We were friends before Jason married her and became much closer as sisters-in-law.   Homophobia hurts everyone involved, not just the homosexual individual.  Trust me; I have been deeply wounded by people who claimed to love me as result of having a gay brother.

Body Image

Chapter 68, The Body Politic in Readings for Diversity and Social Justice is very interesting to me personally.  In spite of the fact I am now very much overweight, I once struggled with an eating disorder.  I really struggled with writing about this time in my life because I think people who see me as I am know will never believe me. 

With that said, I will attempt to allow you guys a small glimpse into my personal battle with a combination of anorexia and bulimia.  It actually started with a bleeding peptic ulcer.  Due to the blood in my stomach I vomited frequently and lost a little weight before my physicians were able to diagnosis the ulcer and treat it.  I gained the weight back, which made me think I could get really skinny by vomiting.  So I started purging everything I ate or drank.  After a few months, I would go for several days without eating or drinking at all.  My senior year of high school, I missed over forty-five days of school because I was so frequently hospitalized due to dehydration.  Because I missed so many days, I had to go before the school board and convinced them to allow me to graduate.  The only reason I was not forced to repeat my senior year was that I was an honor student with a very high GPA. I continued my pattern of starving and purging until I was in my early twenties.  I was sent to Scott & White hospital in Temple, TX at the age of twenty and spent several weeks attempting to get better.  The physician told my family, I would probably not live; they could not help me because I was unwilling to be helped. 

Shortly after that I was involved in a severe car wreck. I suffered a closed head injury, which caused me to develop severe migraines and other medical issues. I spent months in physical and cognitive rehab, which made it very difficult for me to keep up my eating disorder routine.  I would love to say, I learned to eat health and quite purging and starving myself because of some inspirational insight.  However the truth is, I quite because it was too difficult to keep up with my routine and deal with constant severe neck and back pain and atypical migraines.

My family and I are fully aware; I have the potential to develop an eating disorder at any given moment.  I attempt to keep myself from that temptation by remembering the excruciating hunger pains and how weak I felt.  My fear of developing another eating disorder is what has kept me from dieting at all in the past.  I recently started weight watchers in hopes to get back down to a health weight.  Thankfully I have a few friends that know my eating disorder history that help me not get too carried away with my dieting attempt.

We as social workers must keep in mind; things are not always as they appear.  No one in our social class would ever be able to guess I struggled with an eating disorder just by looking at current physical appearance.

 I decided to include a few pictures of myself when I was much smaller.  At the time of both of the pictures, I was already beginning to gain weight.  At the height of my eating disorder I weighed ninety-six pounds and was five foot seven inches tall.

Jennifer Bliss age 19

Jennifer Bliss age 21

Babies

Earlier I had the great pleasure of babysitting my cousin’s six month old little girl, Bridgette.  She is an absolute doll and I really enjoyed getting to see her.  I also have a cousin who has a baby boy, Greyson who is also six months old.   Ironically Bridgette and Greyson were actually born on the exact same day.  Since I absolutely love children and deeply desire to have my own some day, anytime I am in town I try to see the babies as much as possible. 

I read “Night to His Day” in our Readings for Diversity and Social Justice, which made me really look at the differences of how my family treats Bridgette compared to Greyson.  According to Lorber, “For the individual, gender construction starts with assignment to a sex category bon the basis of what the genitalia look like at birth.  The babies are dressed or adorned in a way that displays the category” (Lorber, 2010).   She continues to explain choice in name, clothing, and use of other gender markers creates the gender status (Lorber, 2010).

Bridgette is clearly a female, based not only on her physical genitalia, but her name, her clothes, her toys, blankets, even her diapers scream, “I am a Girl”.  Beyond these clearly defined female items, my Grandmother points out her supposed feminine way of acting and looking.  Quite frankly at this age, I don’t really see much of a difference in their actions.  Bridgette certainly looks female and Greyson is without a doubt male looking.  Of course, I really don’t know if has much to do with their sexual anatomy or the way my family is dressing and raising them. 

I really don’t want to continue rambling about the differences in appearance of my two adorable baby cousins. I decided the easiest way to really demonstrate, how they look is to post a picture.  So you can look at Bridgette and Greyson and use them as I did to more fully understand Lorber’s point about society creating gender identity.

 

 

Bridgette Humphrey                                                    

Greyson
Kent

Questioning Christianity

It is no secret I struggle with my own religious upbringing.  Reading the text for next week over religion and more specifically the unfair dominance of Christianity certainly has not made my personal struggle any easier.

I sometimes wish I could just walk away from my Christian roots, but I recognize this is impossible as many of the Biblical Principles I have been taught still instruct my actions and thoughts on a daily basis.

How can Christians claim to love every individual while at the same time blatantly discriminate, demonize, and damn those individuals?  Of course, I have been repeatedly told, “love the sinner, but hate the sin”.  A scripture in the Bible basically teaches where there is love; this is no room for darkness or hatred.  Perfect love cast out all fear. (Sorry I do not have my Bible with me, and I do remember the exact scriptures or their location.)  So why are a large portion of Christians afraid of other religious beliefs and teachings?  I have been told not to even read books about other religions, because those books will cause me to doubt Christianity.  It’s the actions of individual Christians, that cause me to doubt, not the beliefs and practices of Buddha, Islam, Hindu, Muslim, Jews, etc.

My problem with Christianity is the lack of consistency between the scriptures studied and quoted during church services and the actual actions followed outside the four walls of a church. 

What class do I fit in?

Reading the chapters from Adam’s book about class, made me question, “What class do I fit into?” Prior to my parent’s divorce, my family would have been considered lower-middle class. However once my father was out of the picture, my mom supported me and my brother at below poverty level. I personally have no income at the moment, am I considered lower class?  Do people apply my brother’s middle class income to me, because he helps me financially?  I also wondered about our friends during our teenage years, what made us have a diversified group of friends? I came to realization, that in spite of the fact our friends were racially diversified, the majority of us came from families struggling to put food on the table.  The few friends we had that were financially stable had parents that grew up very poor.  The Mechler family was very well off, so why were they placed in our group of friends?  We did go to the same church, but not our entire group went to that church.  Maybe we became friends because of the similarity of being “different”.  The Mechler girls were half white (father) and half Okinawan (mother); did the upper-class whites reject them, because of their biracial identity?  Is that really why they chose to be friend with a group of “poor” kids?  Of course, I will never fully know how our friends became our friends, I know we all felt “different” for one reason or another.  Regardless of the Mechler family's reasons, I will always be grateful for their friendship.  Mr. Mechler often paid for our entire group of friends to get to go to the movies and eat out (Frequently the only meals my brother and I had came from the Mechler family).  The readings and this class in general is really causing me to question everything. In some ways, I wish I could just appreciate the friendships and opportunities provided to me, but I guess questioning motives and ideologies is part of becoming “educated”.  I just hope all the knowledge does not lessen my gratefulness for the people that have shared in my life journey.

Friends

I have been hanging out with my two closest friends. Brittiny and Tiffany are biracial identical twins. Chapter 14, “50 Experiences of Racially Mixed People” in our book Readings for Diversity and Social Justice prompted me to ask my friends if they had experienced some of the same statements outlined in the chapter. We went through all fifty statements together and I recorded their responses. I thought going the statements would take maybe an hour, but we ended up talking about their experiences for almost three hours last night.  They gave me permission to share some of their experiences. Their mother is a strawberry blonde, blue eyed white woman; while their dad was (recently deceased) a very dark skinned African American man.

Tiffany Watson and Brittiny Watson

1. Both Brittiny and Tiffany stated they have never been told, “You have to choose; you can’t be both.”
2. They have both been mistakenly identified as Puerto Rican, Hispanic, and other ethnicities.
3. Brittiny said she has had people assume her race to be different on the phone than in person. Tiffany said she never experienced that or maybe she just didn’t realize it.
4. They both said people have told them, “You can’t be white because you’re too dark, but you don’t act black enough.”
5. Both have been told how beautiful mixed raced people are.
6. Brittiny said people often ask if they were adopted.
7. They both said when they straighten their hair people don’t think they look black, but when they wear is naturally curly they are told they look black because they have “nappy” hair.
8. Both women have been asked, “What are you?”
9. Brittiny said white people will tell black jokes and often black people tell them white jokes.
10. They frequently get asked, “Where are you from?”
11. They are often started at, especially Tiffany when she wears her hair straightened.
12. They have both been told, “You look exotic.”  Brittiny said that statement usually comes from perverted men.
13. They have never felt their choice of friends has been interpreted as “selling out” because our friends are all different races and a large portion are mixed.
14. They have been accused of “acting or wanting to white,” from African American friend’s parents.
15. Tiffany is dating my cousin, Brad. Our Grandfather asked Brad, “Does she act black?” Which in Tiffany’s opinion was a judgment about her racial authenticity based on the fact my cousin is white.
16. They both said people make comments all the time about their hair and skin color, but it is usually positive so they don’t mind.
17. Brittiny said some of her coworkers joke around calling her “half-breed” and “mutt”.
18. They have been told from African American’s, “You think you’re too good for your own kind.” Tiffany said with whites, they either accept us or ignore our existence.
19. Brittiny and Tiffany experienced a lot of abusive statements and action from their maternal grandmother because of their racial identity. They were called “nigger babies” and were locked in a closet, while their mother was at work.
20. Their parents never “claim” them for their own racial or ethnic group.
21. Tiffany said, “I feel I kind of do get the best of both worlds, because I am allowed to view both white and black culture.
22. Of course, both women have been asked about their racial and/or ethnicity.
23. They have never had anyone act confused about their last name, which is Watson. Brittany said, "You know all black last names are really white last names."
24. People do assume they struggle with figuring out their racial identity.
25. People have come to up to both of the women speaking Spanish, assuming they are Hispanic.
26. They have been told society does not recognized mixed race. This view is very prevalent to them, when they are required to fill out official forms that only allow them to select one race.
27. They have both been told, “You aren’t really black.”
28. They have been mistaken for a different racial and ethnical group.
29. They have not been told they must be full of self loathing because of the way they identify their race.
30. Brittiny said she has been told she is a mistake. Tiffany does not believe anyone has ever actually said it, but she did feel like some people thought it.
31. They are assumed to be the race of the group of people they are hanging out with at the time. If they with predominately African American’s they are consider African American, but when they hang out with my family they are assumed to be white.
32. N/A
33. They both have difficultly filling out forms.
34. They identified themselves as “mulatto” but most people do not even consider that as a racial classification.
35. They are often told, “You are not like other blacks.”
36. Most of their siblings identify has being a mixed race.
37. They have not been called racial slurs from other racial groups, but certainly have been called racial slurs for both “white” and “black”.
38. They have both been told by a few friends, they should only date African American’s.
39. Their parents identified their race as “mulatto”
40. They have been told, “You are not black enough.”
41. When they first moved to Bastrop, people thought their mother was either there babysitter or they were adopted.
42. Strangers have never assumed their father was their “older boyfriend”.
43. They were treated differently by their maternal grandparents, than their older sister who is also mixed, but has more “white” features.
44. When they were in high school, they were very well liked by most of the guys, but were never asked out on dates.
45. They do not wish to be darker, they like the color of their skin.
46. N/A
47. N/A
48. When they lived in Wyoming, they did have friends that would be distant in public places.
49. Tiffany said, “People are often surprised to find out our mom is a strawberry blond, blue eyed woman.”
50. They have never attempted to hide either parent.

Native American Wisdom

I have spent my afternoon reading Zinn’s account of the horrific treatment of Native Americans.  I remember being confused and angry in grade school when I was taught my people, Native Americans were cruel and disgusting because they scalped the white civilized settlers.  I left school feeling ashamed, confused and angry.  My great-great grandmother was visiting, so I ask her, why do they say we were cruel savages? I will never forget her response, “Sissy, what you read in books and are taught by learned people is not always the truth. I want you to do good in school.  Promise you will always remember there is more than one way to tell a story.”  At the time I was too young and lacked the capacity to fully understand what she meant.  However I took those words to heart, many years later I fully understand there is always more than one way to tell a story.

Thanks to her story telling abilities, I had the privilege of learning about my Native American heritage. Her stories caused me to fall in love with the ways of my people. Please view the two video’s below, they are powerful messages from Native Americans.  I fully believe you will find some similarities in the Native American way of thinking and the social work way of thinking.

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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KATOpoCvOFo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Much Has Changed or Has it?

After reading the second chapter of Howard Zinn’s  “A People’s History of The United States”,  I can’t stop thinking about the many women and children who experience sexual abuse or assault in our so called more educated and moral society compared with that of the early colonies.  You may be wondering what does sexual abuse and assault have to do with chapter two on racism? I draw your attention to account of Robert Sweat a white man who impregnated an African American slave. (p.30) Robert Sweat was “punished” by being forced to do public penance for his offense of creating a child with a black woman.  The woman was tied to a whipping post and beat for her transgression. As I have a very tender place within my heart for women and children who suffer the atrocities of sexual abuse and assault, my mind began to contemplate the situation.  I highly doubt the woman had any real choice in whether or not to lay with her white master.  This thought lead me to thinking about the lack of choice women and children are stilled faced with in situation where a man chooses to force himself upon his helpless victim.  Sadly, I can say no much has changed from that time in history until now in regards to sexual abuse and sexual assault.  The only thing real change is these atrocities are better hidden from the public eye. The terror, shame, humiliation, and ambivalence of being a victim of sexual abuse or assault has not changed one bit.  The individual assaulted is often “punished” more harshly than the perpetrator; society still often blames the victim. When will we realize, many victims have to choice of either allowing the perpetrator to do as he wills, or risk being completely annihilated? I know some might be thinking: What is her point? Why is she so passionate about this particular issue?  The simple answer, I have been a victim of both sexual abuse and assault, so the fear and anguish of such situations resonates throughout my entire soul.

I know some of you reading my post, would rather not know my personal horror story.  The reality is I had no real choice in what happened to me. So instead of wishing I would keep my “issues” to myself, maybe you should be blaming the ones who abused me, for the fact you have to deal with the reality that a woman you know has been sexually abused and assaulted.  Forcing survivors to keep silent, is just another way of punishing us for something we did not chose!!!

Disadvantaged By Association

I find the concept of being “disadvantaged by association” to be highly accurate and interesting.  Groups of people who are disadvantaged by association can include family members of people with disabilities, family members of lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people, or white people who have a partner of color or children of color. (Adams, et al., 2010)  “People in these situations are “disadvantaged by association” and live a dual existence: having access to privilege and resources in some capacities due to their dominate status, but also being a target of discrimination and manifestations of oppression due to their family status.” (Adams, et al., 2010)

               I am the proud sister of an openly gay man.  I say proud, not because of his status of being a homosexual, but because he is an awesome man and adoring brother. Let me make this very clear, I am not ashamed or embarrassed by my brother’s sexuality.  I want people who are homophobic to realize, there is so much more to my brother, than the fact he is gay.

               My brother in numerous ways is my hero.  I was struggling with working full time as a pharmacy technician and being a full time Pre-Pharmacy/Pre-Med student, my brother made the decision to support me financially so I could quit my job and focus solely on school.  How many brothers do you know, that would make that type of financial commitment to his sister?  Keep in mind, I am in my thirties and have a house mortgage to pay, so the financial burden is much larger than it would be if I were younger. 

               Unfortunately as wonderful and generous as my brother is, I have certainly experienced discrimination due to his sexuality.  A few years back, I was a member of a large non-denominational church.  I had a very close group of friends at this church.  Once my brother moved to Bastrop and my group of church friends found out his sexuality.  I was no longer invited to parties, dinner, and other social events.  In fact many members of the group acted as if they did not know me at all.  The few people, who choose to remain my friend, also became excluded from this church group. 

Social Justice Only for Some

 

I read all four articles about social justice or rather the lack there of. While the articles made me think a great deal about certain populations, I will focus on the main points.  I came away with the overall concept of social justice being based on the concept every single individual should have the same opportunities, finances, freedoms, and rights. Clearly our society is far from being socially just. It is not difficult to find an individual who is being treated unjustly. The real problem is we as a society have very limited amount of resources. The current government works by allotting our limited resources to different special interest groups, who in turn provide services to the individuals the group deems worthy of receiving help. Our current of distribution is unjust in many ways. How can social workers help make distribution of resources more just? I honestly do not have an answer. The reality is regardless of how social workers attempt to make resources available for each individual within our society, it is virtually impossible. There will always be a group or a specific individual that falls through the cracks and does not receive help. I am not suggesting that we should just accept this, and choose not to work toward a more equal playing field for all. I am simply admitting that in looking at all of the prejudices different groups in our society hold, I do not know how social workers are to advocate for a more just system.