I find the concept of being “disadvantaged by association”
to be highly accurate and interesting.
Groups of people who are disadvantaged by association can include family
members of people with disabilities, family members of lesbian, gay, bisexual,
or transgender people, or white people who have a partner of color or children
of color. (Adams, et al., 2010) “People in these situations are “disadvantaged
by association” and live a dual existence: having access to privilege and
resources in some capacities due to their dominate status, but also being a
target of discrimination and manifestations of oppression due to their family
status.” (Adams, et al., 2010)
I am the
proud sister of an openly gay man. I say
proud, not because of his status of being a homosexual, but because he is an awesome
man and adoring brother. Let me make this very clear, I am not ashamed or embarrassed
by my brother’s sexuality. I want people
who are homophobic to realize, there is so much more to my brother, than the
fact he is gay.
My
brother in numerous ways is my hero. I
was struggling with working full time as a pharmacy technician and being a full
time Pre-Pharmacy/Pre-Med student, my brother made the decision to support me financially
so I could quit my job and focus solely on school. How many brothers do you know, that would
make that type of financial commitment to his sister? Keep in mind, I am in my thirties and have a
house mortgage to pay, so the financial burden is much larger than it would be
if I were younger.
Unfortunately
as wonderful and generous as my brother is, I have certainly experienced
discrimination due to his sexuality. A
few years back, I was a member of a large non-denominational church. I had a very close group of friends at this
church. Once my brother moved to Bastrop
and my group of church friends found out his sexuality. I was no longer invited to parties, dinner,
and other social events. In fact many
members of the group acted as if they did not know me at all. The few people, who choose to remain my
friend, also became excluded from this church group.
I really enjoyed reading your post. When I read this section in the book, the thought felt really new to me. I had never thought that family members or friends of those who are oppressed could suffer from discrimination too. It is sad how not only do people discriminate those who do no harm to others, but also those who surround them. When hearing this as well as the story about professor Gerstenblatt's story about her daughter, I realized a lot of oppression and how unfair some people are. Great post!
ReplyDeleteWow! Great post. I can't say that I am surprised about the church. My mother was asked to leave the church we had belonged to for over 10 years because she and my father divorced. They thought that she was too much of a temptation as a divorcee. That time in her life is when she needed her church family the most.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful example of brotherly love- putting you through school. What an awesome guy. :)
I won't take the time to express my angst over the church. . . you are already familiar with it--but I will say that I have met that awesome brother of yours, and I think he is fantastic. It saddens me to think that he is constantly oppressed because of his sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for sharing your experience. I am saddened by the fact that inequality exists. It's so valuable to hear personal accounts like yours because then we begin to make a human connection and we can start becoming allies to oppressed groups. I just wanted to add, your brother is the best! =)
ReplyDeleteJennifer, your post hits home with me an my family. My uncle is an amazing gay man. I used to attend a church who didn't ostracize me, but pretended that I did not have said uncle. It was as if the me who was not "church acceptable" did not exists. Thank you for your blog post.
ReplyDelete