Thursday, March 22, 2012

Body Image


Chapter 68, The Body Politic in Readings for Diversity and Social Justice is very interesting to me personally.  In spite of the fact I am now very much overweight, I once struggled with an eating disorder.  I really struggled with writing about this time in my life because I think people who see me as I am know will never believe me. 

With that said, I will attempt to allow you guys a small glimpse into my personal battle with a combination of anorexia and bulimia.  It actually started with a bleeding peptic ulcer.  Due to the blood in my stomach I vomited frequently and lost a little weight before my physicians were able to diagnosis the ulcer and treat it.  I gained the weight back, which made me think I could get really skinny by vomiting.  So I started purging everything I ate or drank.  After a few months, I would go for several days without eating or drinking at all.  My senior year of high school, I missed over forty-five days of school because I was so frequently hospitalized due to dehydration.  Because I missed so many days, I had to go before the school board and convinced them to allow me to graduate.  The only reason I was not forced to repeat my senior year was that I was an honor student with a very high GPA. I continued my pattern of starving and purging until I was in my early twenties.  I was sent to Scott & White hospital in Temple, TX at the age of twenty and spent several weeks attempting to get better.  The physician told my family, I would probably not live; they could not help me because I was unwilling to be helped. 

Shortly after that I was involved in a severe car wreck. I suffered a closed head injury, which caused me to develop severe migraines and other medical issues. I spent months in physical and cognitive rehab, which made it very difficult for me to keep up my eating disorder routine.  I would love to say, I learned to eat health and quite purging and starving myself because of some inspirational insight.  However the truth is, I quite because it was too difficult to keep up with my routine and deal with constant severe neck and back pain and atypical migraines.

My family and I are fully aware; I have the potential to develop an eating disorder at any given moment.  I attempt to keep myself from that temptation by remembering the excruciating hunger pains and how weak I felt.  My fear of developing another eating disorder is what has kept me from dieting at all in the past.  I recently started weight watchers in hopes to get back down to a health weight.  Thankfully I have a few friends that know my eating disorder history that help me not get too carried away with my dieting attempt.

We as social workers must keep in mind; things are not always as they appear.  No one in our social class would ever be able to guess I struggled with an eating disorder just by looking at current physical appearance.
 I decided to include a few pictures of myself when I was much smaller.  At the time of both of the pictures, I was already beginning to gain weight.  At the height of my eating disorder I weighed ninety-six pounds and was five foot seven inches tall.

Jennifer Bliss age 19
Jennifer Bliss age 21

5 comments:

  1. Thank you very much for sharing this story. That is very brave of you. It is very inspirational. I am in complete awe I never really knew what exactly an eating disorder was and how bad things could get. i am truly glad that you are doing great today. I am sure that by sharing this story you will be such an inspiration to girls who are going through this due to your accomplishments. Great post and thanks again for sharing!

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  2. Jennifer -
    Wow! You are so right that things are not always as they appear. We all have our struggles, and no matter what the level is, a challenge is a challenge. I'm glad that you chose to disclose this information about yourself, and since you're still dealing with it on a daily basis, maybe it's also helpful to you to share the story with fellow social workers. I'm glad that you have made this much progress so far, and wish you well in your future endeavors -- not only with VICTORY over the eating disorder, but academics, and life in general. Great post, and keep letting your voice be heard! :-)

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  3. wow! thank you so much for sharing. i would have never known unless you said something. so hats off to you have the courage to post this. bringing to light how difficult these disorders are and just how they impact your life. this is an inspiration for anybody reading this that you can accomplish many things in your life. once again great post and thank you for sharing!

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  4. Hi Jennifer,

    Like the girls said above, thanks for sharing. Because I haven't personally struggled with an eating disorder, I hesitate to comment on this, but I just have a few thoughts on the societal level.

    I think our society places dieting way above the ideal of being healthy. Women are bombarded with images of abnormally skinny and often anorexic models in luxury clothing and scenery. Women are also portrayed as inferior- laying down or looking up at men. Another example of our society's ideals- Kate Moss gets caught doing cocaine, but who cares because she's beautiful, thin, and rich. Let her model!

    Our society is also plagued with crash diets- diets that will help you quickly lose water weight, but that also do not fill nutritional needs. (I know that Weight Watchers is different, because it allows you to eat what you want but control your portions- something much healthier than something like the South Beach diet.)

    I wish that we could place more emphasis on being healthy and nutrition savvy- that we could focus on how good eating your fruits and veggies makes you feel, and how much energy you have. Why are we never taught in a core class how to cook and eat health consciously in school when it is the most basic need humans need to meet?

    I really appreciate you sharing, and allowing me to comment. Hope you have a great weekend, and I'll see you Monday.

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  5. I applaud your courage. For reals.

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